Thursday, January 1, 2015

Eeewww--that doesn't smell like roses!

Well, the FSU Seminoles sure stunk up the Rose Bowl tonight. What a way to go--nibbled to death by a flock of Ducks! I forget the exact final score, because the game's not over yet, but it was (will be) basically Oregon a whole bunch, Florida State a lot less.

Instead of a 30-wins-in-a-row victory post, I'll console the faithful with some funny "You're an extreme redneck" signs that one of Mike's Chicago friends emailed him recently. (At least he says they're funny. I'll take his word for it; I'm a bit dense when it comes to human frailties.)

Anyway, here goes. You're an extreme redneck when:

  1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

  2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

  3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

  4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

  5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

  6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

  7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

  8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

  9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of "The Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

So--let's try to end the day with a smile and congratulate the Oregon Ducks on beating the poop out of us.



Please tell me that was just a nightmare.

I AM smiling – not about demon ducks – but at the hilarious description of some relatively close neighbors. Thanks for the laugh, Buddy!

Anonymous said...

Hi Buddy

Hi Buddy,

The next game was pretty good with the Buckeyes beating Alabama!

Maybe next year the Buckeyes will play the Seminoles in the playoffs.

Always enjoy your blog, Grandpa Dave